The hubby is cautioning me against starting to trade before I’ve put in enough time learning the ropes. It’s not as if I could start to trade right now anyway. I admit I was tempted to open a real account today but common sense got the better of me. I was going to fund the account with my credit card but I thought better of it. I decided that I need to wait and try to come up with the money rather than put myself in debt to trade. Besides, my husband is right. I need to spend more time learning about forex trading. I’m definitely not ready to start trading with real money. It’s one thing to be making a profit while trading in practice mode. Once you put real money on the line the ballgame changes. I do think there’s such a thing as being too cautious when it comes to money though. I understand that when you’re poor you can’t take certain risks with your money, but I also think that sometimes the only way you get out of a cycle is to take a risk.

I will agree though that the time has to be right for taking risks. Right now I’m too new to forex trading. There’s plenty I don’t understand and when you don’t understand you’re always at a disadvantage. It’s always easier for people to make a fool out of you when you enter into a conversation without knowing enough about the subject being discussed. In addition to that forex trading comes with substantial risks according the the National Futures Association. That means that in addition to trading while not really knowing enough about foreign exchange, I would be at risk of losing what ever money I invest and even owing money because of leverage, which if my understanding of the term is correct allows a person to trade with more money than they actually invest. I’ve seen some places advertising 200:1 leverage. At that rate you are more likely to take greater risks which means you can suffer greater losses, not only losing what you invest but also being liable to the broker for the amounts lost over your actual investment.

For more on forex trading risks you should definitely read UNDERSTANDING THE RISKS OF TRADING IN THE RETAIL OFF-EXCHANGE FOREIGN CURRENCY MARKET

Dear diary, my anxiety was out of control today and I overate. I feel disgusted with myself for being weak, but I know that the best thing to do at this point is to try to regroup because if I get angry and filled with self-loathing I’ll just continue to overeat out of frustration and depression. I’m also craving alcohol and that tells me that I might have developed a problem. I’ve never been a drinker, but if alcohol is purchased and brought into the house and I’m feel stressed I’ll drink it. Alcohol is so seldom brought into the house that the fact that I am craving alcohol tells me that I have indeed been using it as a way to relieve my stress at those times when it has been available. The times have been rare.
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I recently accepted a job building some websites for a client. I did this out of desperation more than anything because I had long decided I would no longer take that type of job as it’s next to impossible to find people who will respect the time and effort you put in on their behalf, especially in this industry. Clients know you’re just a little guy desperate for money to pay your bills. They come out looking for you specifically, the little guy who’s going to give his all to provide a high quality of service while accepting what amounts to a handful of bread crumbs for payment. But my financial situation was desperate enough that I had to undersell myself to try to get the project. I figured whatever I had to do to help keep the bills paid I had to do.

Unfortunately I’ve had to wait more than 5 days to receive payment for the first site I completed and as far as I’m concerned that’s not acceptable. When I work with a contractor on payment on completion basis, when that contractor completes the work I pay immediately. I don’t make him/her wait for payment. I don’t tell them I’ll send payment today, but not send it. The client told me he would send the payment about 5 days ago. He didn’t send it. I waited a few days then sent another request. He wrote back what was intended to be a demeaning response pointing to the fact that he’s running a large business and only agreed to pay me per site for each site completed because he knows that “small contractors” don’t like to wait to be paid.

In the first place I was originally seeking to be paid on a bulk production basis. The client insisted since he was not familiar with my work that he preferred to do one site at a time and to pay once the individual sites were completed. I was not happy about this as I knew it would present some problems for me but I agreed because I figured I would demonstrate my capabilities with the first few sites and then we would renegotiate based on his familiarity with my work.

In any regard, I sent the client an email expressing my concern over the problems that would arise as long as I had to wait beyond the expected time frame to be paid once the sites were completed. Because it had taken so much longer for him to pay (to this moment he still has not paid) I did not feel I could possibly build any additional sites under a payment on completion basis. I said to him that I needed to be paid fully upfront or 50% upfront. He wrote back with a firm refusal, insulting me in the process by calling me a “small contractor” and agreeing that I am impatient.

I replied back that yes, indeed I am a small contractor and being small I cannot afford to wait to be paid because I depend on every cent. I’m not so fortunate as the owners of big businesses to have reserve funds I can put to use while waiting for clients to pay me.

Frankly, I think just the same way one can insist that I could have or should have waited, one can also insist that since the client would probably not have taken that attitude with another business person he considered his equal, he should not take that attitude with any business person however small. It is not as if I was trying to ask to be paid sooner than I was told I would be paid. I was told I would be paid days ago and I was not. I allowed a few days to pass before I decided to contact the client about being paid, and I doubt had I been a bigger company the client would have chanced to let me wait.

Why should I be okay with being treated any differently than he would treat a larger company? I am a small, independent contractor, yes, but doesn’t mean I don’t deserve the same respect. So I thanked the client but withdrew from the project. At the rate we were going I would be making $125 every 2 weeks. It just wouldn’t have been worth the hassle.

My last several days have been spent trying out different forex trading platforms. As it turns out I can’t use etoro even if etoro might be legitimate. It appears they don’t allow accounts to be started by people in the US. It’s just as well, with all the disdain being heaped towards etoro I was more inclined to try a little harder to figure out how to use some of the other trading platforms. I do believe at the end of the day that we are as capable or as incapable as we deem ourselves. If I continue to tell myself that there’s no way I will be able to understand how those other trading platforms work then I will never be able to understand how those other trading platforms work not because in reality something is wrong with my brain that makes understanding how they work impossible, but because I am programming my brain to freeze up at the mere thought of trying to understand.

So I have been trying out some other forex trading platforms and I am actually beginning to figure out how to work them. The hubby and I spent a few minutes yesterday trying to get my brain wrapped around the chart movements. He’s not formally educated but he’s knowledgeable in ways that come in handy.

Of course I am still only practicing trading. And yes, I am perfectly well aware that forex trading comes with high risks of losing your money;  but I am still determined to give it a try to see if I can make some money doing it. Not trying something because it’s too risky means you will never know how it could have turned out, which is safe enough I guess, but in this situation I prefer to try and fail than not to try at all out of fear of failure. Losing money isn’t like losing your life after all.

As I continue to dig for more information about etoro, the forex trading platform I mentioned previously, I am learning more about the world of forex trading and forex traders. The makers of etoro apparently wanted to create a forex trading platform that was light and fun and inclusive instead of complex and elitist; but based on reactions to a 2007 techcrunch.com post titled eToro Makes Forex Trade Child’s Play it would seem that forex traders aren’t interested in having their “territory” invaded by people who aren’t “real” traders. With remarks like, “forex trading is doomed”, and “forex is dead”, the general sentiment of forex traders appears to be that a program like etoro is an insult to real traders. They appear to be concerned that idiots are going to come in and start calling themselves “traders” when in fact they are nothing but gamblers playing forex like it’s some sort of casino game. Of course they predict the idiots will lose their money.

It’s like the country club mentality that keeps out people from certain walks of life. These so-called “real traders” want to keep out people who are curious to experience life in their world but don’t have the right credentials to get themselves into the club the regular way. At least, that’s how it seems to me from what I’ve been reading.

So etoro has created a platform for people who can’t read forex charts and signals. Why is that a bad thing? Why would forex be doomed because people are trading using a different type of platform?

On the surface this seems perfectly harmless. Just some young girls chasing after their dreams training to improve their flexibility in order to be the best at what they do.

You are watching Rhythmic gymnastics Extreme CONTORTION
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But at the end of the day this just looks like another way in which women are encouraged to torture themselves if need be in order to win the admiration of men. After the Olympic medals, or the applause from the amazed audience, what use will such flexibility be to the woman?

If you ever read the comments posted in reaction to videos of women demonstrating their skill at contorting their bodies, you’ll find most of the comments are being made by men and have something to do with how great it must be to have sex with such a flexible woman. Contortionist videos make money easily on certain websites because they are highly viewed and highly rated not because the girls/women put on such an awesome performance but because the guys love the views they get of legs stretched to their maximum capacity.

To see what women go through to achieve this unnatural level of flexibility is somewhat disturbing especially considering that to a large percentage of their audience the beauty of their performance is appreciated only at crotch level.

Dear universe, it is 10:42PM Eastern Standard Time. I asked you to deliver $500 to me by 9PM Eastern Standard time and you failed to do so. Why? Loral Langemeier said you would deliver. Dr. Ben Johnson said you would deliver. Bill Harris said you would deliver. Bob Proctor and Jack Canfield said you would deliver. So how come you did not deliver universe? Is it that you don’t consider me deserving? Or did I not give you enough time? Very well then, I am giving you 2 additional days to work with. I am putting in my request again. This time I am changing it up to make it a new request. This time I want $1500 by Monday at 12 noon Eastern Standard time. And I am not going to try to explain why I want $1500 instead of $500 because to do that would be to buy into the idea that I shouldn’t want more money than I absolutely need at any given moment. It’s a ridiculous idea. How is it greedy for someone with $395 to their name to ask for $1500 just because they were only asking for $500 a few hours ago? Is that the real problem here universe? Are we poor people poor because we feel guilty to ask for more than what is needed to hand over to the bill collectors?

Why should I feel guilty for wanting to have money I can use frivolously if I so choose? Hell, universe, you don’t punish people with money. Far from it you keep rewarding them over and over with more money. But here I sit working from morning until night and you won’t even see to it that clients pay me when time comes for me to be paid.

Hey universe, my rent is due on Monday. Do you hear me universe? My rent is due on Monday. I need $1500 and I need it on Monday by 12 noon and I will not take no for an answer!

Dear Universe, I need $500 right now. Well, it doesn’t actually have to be right now but it does need to be today no later than 9PM Eastern Standard Time. It is my understanding that all I have to do is ask you for what I want and believe you will deliver; so I am asking for $500; and I will go watch Federer beat his opponent (don’t know who he’s playing really), and while marveling at how remarkable a man Federer must be to be in a position to have any woman in the world and to so openly love and adore a woman who hardly fits the image you’d expect a world class athlete to insist upon, I will believe without harboring a small doubt that you will deliver the $500 I have asked for. Roger Federer’s girlfriend Mirka is very cute by the way universe. She seems like a very nice girl and she and Roger make a great couple and I hope Roger doesn’t ever succumb to pressure from other men who like to say things like “he can have any woman in the world. Why would he choose her?” She’s a beautiful woman. She just doesn’t have the body of a Victoria’s Secret model so to idiots she’s not “hot” enough for a world class athlete. But what I am rambling on about that for? I need $500 today universe. I need much more than that really, but I’m giving you something small to work with for now as a test; so get to work.

Dear diary, I am already becoming disheartened with the whole forex bit. The deeper I dig the more it seems like the world of ‘retail’ forex trading is more heavily concentrated with scams than with legitimate currency trading opportunities. Oh well. It’s back to the drawing board I guess. I am still investigating etoro because I like their trading platform and if they are legitimate I might try my hands at trading some time down the road when I’ve set aside $500 I can afford to risk. I find it interesting though that by comparison to the number of people who actually search for information on forex trading every day, the number of websites related to forex trading is massive; and most of the sites are in some way designed primarily to capitalize on the growing interest in forex trading by the non-traders like me who happen to hear about forex trading and take an interest because of the suggested potential to make money.
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A warning to anyone new to the world of forex trading. Hopefully as I try to arm myself with information, being new to the world of forex trading myself, what I learn and discover along the way can be of use to others. This is an article about forex scams. Before you deposit money with a forex trading firm please take every step available to you in checking out the firm’s background and credentials. Scammers love people like us, people who are in dire financial straits and are desperately seeking solutions to our money problems. Women who work from home or are looking for work from home opportunities are also fast becoming a prime target of forex scams. Don’t become a victim.

If you are considering investing in the Forex markets, be sure that you are going in with your eyes wide open. Your experience may not be what you were expecting. The Commodity Futures Trading Commission, or (CFTC) has been busy tracking down scammers and you should be paying attention. In a case in 2004, the CFTC found that the owners of a forex trading firm were making material omissions to their clients. In other words, they weren’t being entirely truthful. Once the clients had deposited funds with the company, the owners were taking the funds and buying luxury cars and homes and taking gambling trips to Las Vegas. [Source: http://cftc.gov/opa/enf04/opa4956-04.htm]

Foreign exchange trading is a negative-sum game. If you make money, then it is because someone else lost the same amount of money. That in itself, would be a zero-sum game. However, once you add broker’s fees and commissions, you can see that the total pie is actually negative. [Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forex_scam]. This is where the problem of Forex scams originates. Generally, the perpetrators of such scams tell potential clients that they can expect a large return on their money within a short period of time. Since Forex trading is a negative-sum game, this simply can not be true for all entrants to the market. It is logically impossible. Once the customers have deposited their funds with the company, often times the owners just divert the money to their own personal accounts. [Source: NY Times]

In other cases, the scam is more subtle. The users of the service attempt to perform trades, but are unable due to “glitches” in the software that always seem to work against them and make them lose money. Perhaps the trades aren’t executed when they are supposed to. They end up being traded at a different price level. Where does the money that is lost go? Perhaps into the hands of the brokerage. The brokerage may be loaning your money on margin to another account without paying you a share of the interest. Even worse, some users have experienced margin calls on their positions that were not in line with reality. [Source: http://www.forexrealm.com/brokers-reviews/#FXCM]. All of these little scams can add up to millions of dollars in gains for the brokerage, at the expense of their own clients!

If you are planning on investing in Forex markets, be sure that you understand the risks involved first. Before you deposit any money into an account, do a thorough investigation of the firm. Make sure that existing customers are satisfied. Generally, if there are problems you can find out about them on the web by doing a thorough search. These days, disgruntled consumers will take their concerns to the internet and will post. So it should not be difficult to verify the reliability of your broker. Try to find a brokerage that has been around for many years and is established.