I need $500 right now

Dear Universe, I need $500 right now. Well, it doesn’t actually have to be right now but it does need to be today no later than 9PM Eastern Standard Time. It is my understanding that all I have to do is ask you for what I want and believe you will deliver; so I am asking for $500; and I will go watch Federer beat his opponent (don’t know who he’s playing really), and while marveling at how remarkable a man Federer must be to be in a position to have any woman in the world and to so openly love and adore a woman who hardly fits the image you’d expect a world class athlete to insist upon, I will believe without harboring a small doubt that you will deliver the $500 I have asked for. Roger Federer’s girlfriend Mirka is very cute by the way universe. She seems like a very nice girl and she and Roger make a great couple and I hope Roger doesn’t ever succumb to pressure from other men who like to say things like “he can have any woman in the world. Why would he choose her?” She’s a beautiful woman. She just doesn’t have the body of a Victoria’s Secret model so to idiots she’s not “hot” enough for a world class athlete. But what I am rambling on about that for? I need $500 today universe. I need much more than that really, but I’m giving you something small to work with for now as a test; so get to work.

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