I came across an ad on craigslist the other day and thought to myself, “I want this man”; then I remembered I will be turning 38 in 9 days, have fibroids, sagging breasts, cellulite and stretch marks, suffer with depression and agoraphobia, run a home-based business that’s made me less than $5000 this year, and have a near dead libido. I couldn’t land a desperate, blind 92-year old grade-school drop-out much less a handsome 40-year old Yale graduate. Besides, I’m already married.
You, however, might just be the perfect lady for this gentleman who describes himself as not rich but not poor either. If you’re looking for a multi-millionaire or a billionaire this one isn’t a candidate; but if you’re turned on by intellect and honesty he appears to be both intelligent and honest. Based on his photos he’s also quite handsome. He’s 5’11” and weighs 180 pounds.
What is he looking for in you? Well, he doesn’t appear to ask very much. You should have a high school diploma or at least the equivalent of a high school diploma, be at least of voting age, possess a bit of charm and have responsive nipples.
You don’t need to wear a size one; but you probably also shouldn’t wear a size 21.
He wrote: I’m not terribly attracted to overweight women but stick figures don’t interest me either. A sweet face, nice skin, beautiful mouth, is always helpful. I’m not looking for perfection. But I’m not looking for imperfections either. Better that you be sexy and imperfect, than perfect and unsexy.
You can be any race, any nationality, although he appears to have a particular interest in women from Copenhagan, Paris, Tokyo or Buenos Aires; and he’s openminded when it comes to vaginas and shaving. It’s okay if you have hair down there. In his words, “Smoothness is highly overrated. Why bother getting razor stubble ? That’s a guy problem. Why inflict it on yourself? Or worry?” Not sure it that means he’s not into cunnilingus. The cunnilingus addicts usually prefer it shaven.
Want to get a hold of this 40-year old Yale grad? Respond to firstname.lastname@example.org.