Color me green

Here’s a random post. Maybe if I think green…

I just remembered how when I was a little girl I got lost for hours in the city of the country where I was born. My father had left me locked in his car and gone to commit an act of adultery against my mother. I waited and waited in the hot car. I could have died in that hot car. Eventually I got out of the car and went to look for him. I was about 7 years old. I walked around and around looking for him but I didn’t find him. I eventually found my way outside a store where I stood crying for hours becoming terrified as dusk began to set in. I can’t remember all the details about how I was found. Someone recognized me and I was saved.

I am feeling kind of angry right now. When I think about the many ways in which both of my parents failed me when I was a child, my heart breaks for the child they abused; but I guess I’m nearly forty years old now. I need to grow up and get over it. My parents may have treated me like I was worth nothing; but that was a long time ago. I am the only one responsible for the depression, the agoraphobia and the anxiety that plague me presently.


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