I never did make the $640 I needed to make the other day. I fell short by about $600.
My bank account is in the deficit again.
I remain clueless how to fix this ongoing problem where I simply cannot seem to make any money. At this point I am not running a business. I am just running around desperately trying to land gigs so I can dig myself out of the financial hole.
How did it come to this?
I do still have a small handful of websites which I built to sell; but I can’t seem to get them sold. I keep reducing the asking price to next to nothing, and even for next to nothing I can’t get them sold.
I’ve tried selling my artwork on Ebay, but I’ve had no luck there.
I’ve bid on some web development projects but received no responses. My earnings yesterday totalled $0.35 cents.
I am starting to think I am fighting against the will of another force that is way more powerful than I am, and that force is determined to see me completely ruined. It’s a nice picture imagining myself prevailing and being able to say that I went from making pennies per day to becoming a millionaire, but I’m starting to think this is similar to me trying to be beautiful back before I finally realized I can’t be other than I am. I was trying to be something I could never be. I wasn’t beautiful. Maybe I’m trying now to be something I can never be. Maybe I was never meant for success.
Image: Devil by mao_lini via Flickr