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Dear Universe

I need $1000

Dear universe, it has been a while. Since I last called you things have been a litte rough. I’ve lost a lot …

I need to make $1500 per day

Dear Universe, I am starting to become doubtful that you understand English, so I am going to ask from you in French …

I need $2500 by Thursday

Dear Universe, I guess you think that just because I haven’t said anything about it I haven’t noticed that you failed, yet …

I need $1500 by Monday!

Dear universe, it is 10:42PM Eastern Standard Time. I asked you to deliver $500 to me by 9PM Eastern Standard time and …

I need $500 right now

Dear Universe, I need $500 right now. Well, it doesn’t actually have to be right now but it does need to be …