I admit I can’t help smiling when I look at the pictures that were snapped of president-elect Barack Obama and his wife, the next first lady of the United States, Michelle Obama. They seem to have a very strong relationship. In a way it is enviable and in another way it is inspiring.

You can see these two are very much connected, that they really are best friends, lovers, husband and wife in the most complete sense. It is both beautiful and sexy. I want what they have for my husband and myself but I wonder if that can be built or if it just happens naturally when two people are truly perfect for each other.

I don’t understand homosexuality. I admit it. I cringe at the thought of two men engaging in sexual intercourse; and while I cringe slightly less at the thought of two women sharing that kind of intimacy (likely because society seems to be more accepting of this on account of how widely sex between two women has been eroticised), I find it equally odd imagining a woman being married to a woman as I find it odd imagining a man being married to a man. Does this mean there is something wrong with homosexuality and same sex marriage? Or could it just be that I have grown up believing that love is something to be shared between a man and a woman; that having witnessed only this, I did not know it was possible for love to be shared between a woman and a woman as well as between a man and a man?
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The hubby is off today so there’s not going to be any such thing as peace and quiet.

Being poor means living in a two-bedroom apartment and having my home office setup in a corner of the living room. That means that when the hubby has the day off I don’t have the peaceful and quiet environment in which I prefer to work. Presently the hubby is watching something about UFO encounters. His tendency to believe almost anything he hears on the television is not the thing I love or admire most about him.

I’m not much of TV person myself. It’s a rare day you will find me watching television, but that’s just because I’m never really inactive. Television watching requires having nothing to do and there’s really never a time I have nothing to do. You might regard this blog as evidence that I have nothing to do, but this blog is part of business for me. I update it daily as part of the growth and development process. It is one of many websites I have developed since starting in web development a decade ago. I’m not sure what I’ll be able to do with this site.
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It is 1:46PM. I have just spoken to the hubby and told him not to sell my jewelry. I’m not much into jewelry and the items I’d told him to sell so I could raise money to get my bank account out of the deficit are hardly ever worn; but they were gifts from him; and I think I should have a different attitude about them.

I mean, I was even ready to sell my wedding ring. What kind of message does that send to my husband? He bought these for me with money he did not have. They were tokens of his affection and for me to sell them would send the message that his affection means nothing. So I’ll have to figure out another way to raise money to get my bank account out of the deficit.

Image: Phil & Patty by preciouskhyatt via flickr

I previously mentioned that my husband and I had a nasty fight on our wedding day. He had gone out onto the apartment balcony to smoke a cigarette a few hours before we were to be at the courthouse. I thought it was inappropriate for him to be smoking on our wedding day. He knew I hated that he smoked. I thought on our wedding day of all days he should make an extra effort not to smoke. He didn’t see the big deal. I guess most people wouldn’t see the big deal either.

Here’s a picture of a bride on her wedding with a cigarette in her hand. It just seems inappropriate to me. A wedding day is supposed to be special and something about the idea of the bride or the groom taking time out for smoking cigarettes on their wedding day somehow makes it seem like the day isn’t really special for them. I know it’s just a matter of perception, but as I perceive it, the cigarette suggests the smoker isn’t really all that excited about getting married. I understand the nature of cigarette addiction but I’ve seen that my husband can resist smoking when doing so is important enough to him. That he didn’t consider our wedding day to be a day on which he should make the effort not to smoke knowing I hated his smoking was upsetting.

It also suggested that getting his smoke was more important than preparing for our big day.

In the case of the smoking bride, why isn’t she 100% focussed on her wedding? Why would she need a cigarette break in the middle of the festivities? It just doesn’t really look all that appropriate; but then I’m kind of far removed from reality.

Image: Minna by Magnus Franklin via Flickr

I never wanted to get married. I had reasons for marrying my husband that had nothing to do with loving him. We fought on our wedding day. I was mad at him for smoking. We used to fight a lot about his smoking but I eventually realized it was pointless to get upset about something I could do nothing about. Cigarettes were a part of his life before I came into the picture. At this point he could probably do without me a lot easier than he could do without cigarettes.

I’m looking at wedding pictures on flickr. Here are some of the pictures I’ve looked at:

I didn’t have the white dress and veil experience myself. Got married at the justice of the peace. It was just me and my husband. We walked to the justice of the peace. I wore my size 1 jeans and a top of some kind.
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